Thoughts of Q

Socks

2012-01-29T14:48:00.002-06:00

For the last few nights I've dreamt about socks. It's not so abnormal for me to dream of kniting, it's just perturbing at this time becasue I have a few projects on the needles that need to get done. Theres the skirt I started last year and needs just a few more inches, my son's blanket,and a blanket that needs to be planed and made for my soon to arrive niece/nephew. Not to mention the sol thats been sitting waiting to be finished for almost three years now(I'm probably going to frog it). But, I keep dreaming of socks.

I give up. I'm making socks. It will give me a break from the other things, that mostly aren' getting done because I'm tired of them. I'll have new drive to finish them when I'm done with the socks, right? So, after looking around, there is this ball of knitpicks Imagination Evil Stepmother sitting on my coffee table. It was going to be a sock for a friend a few years ago, but it didnt quite make it Well, it's mine now. And I did research for a pattern. The reason it never made it to my friend, is I hated it I made the sock and re-knit parts of it. I jst hated how it pooled. Not this time.. Knitty's Achilles Heal should be great.

Here I go casting on, I did a (half) swatch last night. ...Bugger. There's not enough yarn for a whole pair here. Dan it, I really want to make these socks. I suppose I could make the other one with the Wicked Witch...but..I don't want to. You know what, Im going to find a solid colour(I think I have some nice cones of fingering in my stash somewhere) and use that for the heel, sole and toe. That should give me enough yarn.

Here goes. Wish me luck!

So much for being back...

2011-11-30T21:01:00.002-06:00

Really, I had intended to be blogging more. I even have a few half finished posts in my head waiting to be typed. However, there is always so much that keeps me away from the computer, or when i have a chance to use it, there are other, more important thingsd to do. Like right now, I have some research that needs doing. That and I just got home from an extremely busy day at work. Oh well.

A lesson in gauge

2011-11-14T09:46:00.003-06:00

Always make a gauge swatch, they told me. Don't forget to swatch. Arg. I hate swatching, with a passion. Last motzie shabbos I started a new blanket, and since it's a free form patternless blanket I figured it was the perfect excuse to not swatch, right? WRONG. I had a nice garter border going, then started off in stockinette, noting fancy. a few rows latter it starts to roll. No big deal, stockinette always rolls abit, but it'll even itself out in a few more rows. A week I told myself this, convinced it would be fine. I should know better. Once it rolls, it keeps rolling. I pulled it out yesterday, dejected and sad, but with resolve. Larger needles looser tension, wont be a problem. Wrong again. I cast on far too many stitches, and now it will be to long. Alas, annoying, but a mistake I can live with. I just hope I have enough yarn.

I'm back!

2011-11-14T09:40:00.001-06:00

HELLO!!!

I’ve not talked with you in a rather long time. The fault is mine, of course, as I’ve not been on LJ in a rather long time. I got a little caught up in this strange thing called ‘Life’. Fun, yes, though a bit overwhelming and stressful at times. I’ve realized how much I’ve missed the Internet and my friends here though so I am coming back. Yay.

Quick catching up-ness is in order though, I should think, as it’s been close to a year or more since we’ve been in touch.

As of last June I have been working at Macy’s selling glasses, which i have to say is much better than being a cashier at the grocery. It’s both more fun, intellectually stimulating and has a higher pay rate. The down side is, that rather than a 15 minute bike ride, I know must travel about 45 minutes by bus. I can still bike there, when the weather is good, but don’t do so as often as I’d like because at some point on the way I get stressed that I’ll be late. Then again, it’s been a hectic summer, and mornings often felt rushed.
My husband is still in school for computer programming, though he will G-d willing be graduating this May. From there he will be attempting to get an awesome job both because he wants to and because we are expecting our child in December, and finding child care is as yet proving difficult. Should he manage to secure a well paying job, I’ll be able to stay home with the little one until it is old enough to interact with other little ones. In the mean time though, he is working at the local pizza factory, making pizzas and hot dogs. For some reason they decided to make hot dogs now too. No-one is quite sure why, but it’s their company so they can do as they wish, and it gives him a job on days he does not have class, so I can’t complain too much about it.

That in short has been my life for the last while.

Teaching Knitting

2011-11-14T09:34:00.003-06:00

A while ago my neighbor asked me to teach her daughter to knit. At first it sounded like a great idea, and then yom tov happened and there was stress. Last week we had our first lesson, and once again it proved to be a great idea. We started with the knit stitch, I decided that casting on can wait until the basic concepts are well engrained in her. She is an extremely fast learner. after showing her maybe three or four stitches in slow motion she was at her on her own, and did the whole row(some 30 stitches) with only minor mistakes. This week we worked on consistency when throwing the yarn as it was a bit of an issues, and next week, I think we'll move on to purling. From there it's a simple matter of pattern reading and combo-stitches, cast-on and bind off.

I'm thinking that I might not have this student for very long, because she will have learned all I know very quickly. It's making me think that maybe I should put out an add to teach other kids. After all, I'm good at knitting, and it'd be a fun way to earn some yarn money.

Scaredy Cat Goes Out

2011-07-24T21:20:00.003-05:00

For a few months now, I've been caring for my Alix's cat. (Yes, the Alix with the baby that has no name.) He is the cutest, most annoyingly lovable cat I have yet to encounter. He is also the scarediest cat on the planet. I am not exaggerating. He is afraid of heights, and the dark, scared of the outside, and get super lonely. He also has a tendency to eat to fast and throw up.

Whilst living with us, though, he's gotten much better. He still cries when we turn the lights out and leave him in the living room for the night, but he's thrown up much less, and seems a little less scared. Today we went outside. Not outside, to The Great Outdoors, but outside the apartment. He's been trying to sneak out and explore as I leave for work for a few weeks, so today I took him.

I tried to have him wear his harness and leash, because he's fast. He was having none of it. The moment I put it on he looked at me as if to say 'What is this thing and why is it attached to me'. He would not leave the apartment, or even look at the door. Just stared at me with big sad eyes. The minute I took it off though, ZOOM he was out sniffing the neighbors shoes and checking out the mail box. Until my husband opened the door on his way back from Shul and scared the meow out. He almost cracked his head on the corner of the door trying to get in faster.

Maybe we'll practice a bit with the harness in the apartment and try for The Great Outdoors next week.

I Attended a Home Water Birth, and All I Got Was This Wet T-Shirt

2011-07-17T22:43:00.002-05:00

I've been wanting to start blogging again for some time now. However, through out the day I think of fun and interesting things to write, jot them down, and never post them. Then, some time later I think about them again, and realize they are not worthy of being posted.

This time is different. Also, I really am going to make an effort to post more from now one, not that anyone reads this anyway.

Last week, my good friend Alix gave birth to a squishy, broad shouldered boy. I had the honour of being present at the time. Originally the plan was to birth at a local birth center, my role was simply to be occupying the highly energetic 7.5 year old during the events. However, due to government regulations, the birth center is not allowed to be a delivery place for anyone over 42 weeks. Alix ended up being such a case. Thus, a homebirth.

I'll not post all the details, as Martin did a suprisingly good job of it over on his blog. What I will say is that the few weeks leading up to the birth I was very excited and nervious to be asked to help. On the one hand Mira, the 7.5 year old, and I get along superbly well, and it is always fun to spend time with her. On the other, I had never seen a birth, aside from the horrendious misery shown in the popular media. Though I was convinced it would be nothing liek that, I was unsure how unlike it it would be.

Let me say, it is as far from what the media shows as possible. Okay, maybe not quite that far, but definitely as different as egg salad is from pancakes. The environment was extremely calm, except for at the very moment of a contraction, often acompinied by a screaming Alix, and fearful Mira. Aside though, it was all very nice.

I wasn't in the room when the baby was actually born, as Mira had retreated to the basement, and though birthing was taking place at home, and I thus had additional functions of water-grabber and sometimes food-supplier, my main role of Mira-Wrangler was still in play. A few moments after he was born though, I was there and it really was amazing.

There was all of the sudden, a fully functional, fully formed human being, where there had not been one just a fraction of a moment before. Truly there is nothing more magnificent. It is a true miracle that such things happen. Even more so how the human body reacts.

Today was a good day

2011-06-14T21:06:00.002-05:00

I hearby declare today a success. I was permitted to leave work early due to the lack of customers due to the nice weather. Also my boss forgot that the doctor is on vacation so we were over staffed, even after she left. This meant I got to run some errands I've been wanting to do. Including but not limited to stoping at the library. Also, riding new busses to new places was much fun. One would think I know this town better than I really do, having lived here my whole life, but no. I pretty much stay in my own area. There is so much to see!!

I did not make it to the grocery store though, so breakfast will once again be Random Food. It was raining, and really I don't fancy waiting for the bus with grocery bags in the rain.

I read, pet the cat, learned some Gemara that went over my head and now I'll do the dishes, clean the hamster cage and groom the cat. Very productive day.

WATER!

2011-06-14T17:39:00.001-05:00

Shock of shock, but it's raining. Happily for me, I'm home. Also now my plants will maybe flower into something. I'm looking forward to fresh peas.

The problem with blogging

2011-06-13T21:28:00.003-05:00

The problem with blogging is that sometimes a really great blog post comes to mind, but the computer or Internet are inaccessible and thus blogging cannot happen. But by the time it can, the power behind the post is lost and even though the words are there, the emotion isn't and thus it is a pointless exercise. Alas, woah is me.

THe case of the missing placemats

2011-05-29T19:16:00.002-05:00

I don't really understand how this happened, but two of my three milchig placemats have disappeared. They were last seen a few days before pasach, and since then no news. I thought I had put them away with all the tablecloths and placemats where they belong in the drawer, but nope, no where to be found. It's getting rather annoying.

Where to blog

2011-05-16T18:01:00.002-05:00

Well, I've had Internet again for a while now, and want to start blogging again, not that I have much to say. However, I'm not sure. I have a blog elsewhere that I started in High School, and this one that I started 'when I grew up'. I don't know where to put things, because I don't' know who I want to read what I have to say. Then again, I haven't much to say, so does it matter?

Textured Border Baby Blanket

2011-01-25T09:34:00.002-06:00

While finishing a blanket in the presents of Henya, I was told that I must post the pattern. I didn't actually have one, because I was just trying to make something fun, and different. After a time I figured out what I did.

So, here it is, a really easy baby blanket that is perfect for ADD.

If you want to download it on Ravelry, click here.

Materials:

~430 Yards Worsted weight yarn
Half each in colour A and B (I used KnitPicks Wool of the Andes in Cloud and Merryweather)
Size US10 circular needles in various lengths.
4 stitch markers
Crochet hook

Pattern:

With colour A:

Provisionally cast on 20 stitches.
Knit ~12 rows in Seed Stitch.

Using left hand needle, pick up circumference stitches, for knitting in the round, placing a stitch marker before each corner stitch

Attach colour B:
Knit from between markers. At marker, M1L, move marker, knit 1, M1R. Repeat for each side.
Purl around.
Knit from between markers. At marker, M1L, move marker, knit 1, M1R. Repeat for each side.
Knit around
Repeat rounds 3 and 4 until bored, then do one more increase row, followed by a purl row.
Attach colour A
Knit around, in seed, increasing every other row, just as for colour B.
Continue until bored, than repeat colour B.

Alternate between colours A and B until you feel the blanket is big enough, or you are sick of it, knit one round and bind off using Crochet bind off, in the opposite colour.

Gently wash the blanket in cold water with your favorite wool wash or shampoo. Dry and block by placing a few pins to secure each corner. Don’t secure the sides, as this will give it a better drape.

The thing about Minnesota

2009-12-10T11:11:00.002-06:00

It's cold.

Really, it is. Cold bordering on dangerous. Which is a slight problem as my mode of trasport is walking. Did I mention I work maybe a mile and a half from my abode? No? Oh, well I do.

However, remember that awesome job I have? It's even more awesome, because in weather like this, the boss himself will leave the store, to get me, so I can work. Yeah, awesome. You tell me if your boss would do that. I don't think so.

Only in Minnesota. Gosh I love this place.

I've Lost It

2009-12-08T22:59:00.001-06:00

My brain, that is. With just a month to go, I’ve finally lost it. Things are getting done, mind, nearly all is, for that matter. And yet. This is regards to just general brain function, let’s not even talk about my knitting.

Okay, lets. The gartle is very slowly growing, near half way done now. That’s only because I take it to work and work on it during break, or in the car. My veil though? Not much farther then a month ago. First I ran out of beads, and then, well, it’s not that practical to work on beading rows when in transit. Thus I don’t get much work on it during the day. In the evening I am too busy with all the other things to do, or too tired/stressed to sit and knit.

I really hope that I’ll get these done in time, and that this isn’t going to become a pattern.

poof

2009-11-17T22:05:00.003-06:00

I've been gone. Busy. Running around, getting things done. Or at least, I'm told that's what's been happening. Truth be told, I have no idea. I can barely remember what I did yesterday. It's a good thing though. Not the forgetting, no that's still bad, but the doing and getting. It means I'm being productive, or something. There is so much more to do, and yet at the same time, nothing left. So contradictory, my life.

Busy, Tired, Needing Time

2009-10-28T19:16:00.002-05:00

The title here really gives a good sum of life at the mo. Seeing as this is my last week round these parts I've been busy getting what needs done done, and seeing all the folk I'm leaving behind. All this has left me not just a bit tired. Of course, I have most done, but there is still more needed, and wanted, and just no time for it. Let alone to blog my thoughts on the mezuzahs I just bought, why I'm not okay with murder, but drugs are just fine, or the awesomeness of modern technology and how it lets me take R' Paltiel home with me.

All that being said, though it be only 2030ish, the tired is winning out over my need to post, see and do. Thus, I bid you all, Good Night.

It's About Tolarance

2009-10-18T17:17:00.003-05:00

I do believe I have discovered the quintessential difference between Midwesterners and East Coasters. Well, at least as regards to temperature change.

On the East Coast, as soon as the temperature out side begins to become slightly uncomfortable on the cold side, one may even say chilly, coats are brought out of hiding. Scarves are donned, hats and mittens fluffed, and all the world bundled in woolly goodness.

Quite to the contrary, in the Midwest when the winds get cold, we merely don a sweater or two. Not untill at least the first snow are the heavy coats found. Even then, as it is well known that just as suddenly as the snow came, so shall it depart. True, we may be a bit sniffly at first, but a tolerance is built as the months go by allowing us to be quite comfy in but a simple coat during what some term, the White Months of Death. After all, they only make coats so warm, one must manage with what they can get.

Ends Justify Means

2009-10-14T20:34:00.002-05:00

There is a debate in Gemara as to what was first in regards to creation, Jews or Torah. It says that Hashem looked in the Torah and created the world, so one would assume that is obviously Torah. However on closer examination, one will note that Torah is, so to speak, pointless without Jews. With no one to follow it's laws it's being is unnecessary. Thus it must be that first came the Jews, and then the Torah.

Similar to this is all of creation. The ultimate thing for which we are striving is Daas Hashem Bilvad, complete saturation of the world in G-dly, and G-dness. That being the case, one would wonder why the whole thing with the Sin happened. At that time, there was no unG-dliness. Obviously, there must be another dimension to it. It is learned that Adam's sinning was in order to increase the power of his avoda by introducing the contrast of evil to the ultimate good that was in existence.

So to, in order that all things truely see and know G-d, there must be something non-G-d, so to speak. Thus, after years of persecution will be Mashiach times in which all will be revealed. In order for that to be, there must be the persecution which will lead to the understanding. For there to be persicution, there must be persecutors, for there to be persecutors, there must be disharmony. For disharmony to exist, the perfection of the Garden can not be where humankind abides. For humanity to be elsewhere in creation(aside from there being a need for there to be else in creation), somethign had to have been done to remove them. That thing was Adam sinning. For Adam to sin, aside from him needing to exist, so to did the object with which he sinned need to exist. Thus, Adams creation, and sinning, was all for the purpose that Mashiach would be able to come and all the worlds saturated with knowing G-d.

Tanz fete!

2009-10-06T19:39:00.004-05:00

We all know the stories of old. Governmental authorities doing everything in their power, and then some, to prevent even the slightest show of religion. Doubly that of Judaism.

Today though, all this week, in fact, in the city of Brooklyn, New York, of the United States of America, this old tradition has not merely been stopped, it has been reversed. That is to say, instead of preventing us from celebrating G-d, the authorities are in fact helping.

Entire streets are blocked off in order tat we, simple Jews, may take over, and dance. This, is what Succos is about. The joy, and the unity of all peoples, simply rejoicing in G-d.

Be Wery Wery Quiet....

2009-09-30T06:53:00.003-05:00

I reside near a rather busy street. Or what used to be one. Of late it has been very quiet. Not only here, but through out the Hieghts. Not mearly when counting decibles either. There is an air of quiet. One would think just the oposite, what with all the extra bochrim and Israelis. I can not help but wonder what's going on with this. Not that I'm complaining, mind.

And Now, with a Hook

2009-09-29T20:05:00.004-05:00

I knit. It is my craft, and my passion. It would be a rare day that I would be found with out sticks and string. Also rare is for me to forget my pattern. Alas though, such an event occurred today. I was lost, and alone. Two hours left of school, and not a thing I could do fiber-wise. With out my pattern, I could not go on, for it was time to start a new increase row. Alas, I sat.

But then, a thought occurred to me. The girl next to me crochets. We have much fun with our fibers in class. At that moment though, she was not using her hook. Borrowing it, and some yarn, I discovered that yes, I still remember how to chain. After some time playing with it, and reviewing what could be done, I came up with this lovely thing.

Fetching little hat, no?

I don't know that it is done yet, nor what I shal do with it, but it is much fun. I think I will make a larger, head-sized one, provided I can remember what I did.

A slight problem though, as now I want to work on this hat thing, but must work on my veil, else it shan't be done. A dilema!

Sorry

2009-09-27T10:45:00.002-05:00

When I was in elementray school, we were taought about Yom Kipper. That it is a day of forgiveness and repentance. THat G-d forgives us for everything we have done wrong, because He loves us. We were also told that one can only forgive the wrongs done to them, not others. Thus, any hurtful thing we may have done to our friends, or any of the human race must be forgiven by them. G-d doesn't have that power(He does, but that's another post.) We had to ask our friends to please forgive us. Even if we'd asked during the year and were told that yes, we were forgiven. We were very careful to do this, we really cared.

It seems though, that people don't any more. Not really. A handful of people will ask, and maybe some of them mean it. What changed? Why when we are children, and our behaviour excusable, do we care so much that our friends might be hurt, but as adults, when every action really has an affect, are we ambivalent?

Is it so hard to forgive? Sometimes. Sometimes though we say we forgive, we don't, not fully. But it is the start. That is what we are being asked to do. Start the process, G-d will take care of the rest.

Fashonably Late

2009-09-26T21:22:00.003-05:00

At a farbrengin this past week, I heard an interesting observation. Mashiach, as we all know is a very religious Jew. The most religios, one could say. And, as everyone knows, we Jews have a pentiont for being 'fashinobly late'. You all know the joke about the yekki that married a Lubavitcher...

Well, with all these observations combined, we can learn out that Mashiach is just doing what Jews do. Therefore, if we would stop being late, more over, on time, maybe he'd get here already.

Nu?

Blogger Adventures

2009-09-23T21:59:00.008-05:00

Hung out with Sarabonne tonight. Adventures ensued.

Too much water + wonky oven = cake-y brownies

Nom

I am...Gustave.

In other news, I suspect I am allergic to New York.

Just Doctor

2009-09-23T21:45:00.002-05:00

Yossi tagged me in one of those silly fun meme things. I don't normally do them, but, he thought I would come up with something crafty or creative. Little does he know...MWAHAHAAHAAH

Really though, being the compleate nerd that I am, I've given much thought over the years as to what super power I would have, would I be able to choose. Flying was a thought, what with it being so useful. The ability to go anywhere, on a whim is very tempting. The problem is though, that it is so limited. You can only fly so much before you get tired. Even Superman had to take a break sometime.

All in all, I've vetoed most of the common powers, for various reasons of impracticality, Speed, various forms of vision, excretions of an awesome and helpful nature, communications with nonhumanoids, you know all those fun things.

No, were I to be bitten by a radioactive insect and given the abilities to save the world, I would have to say that of all things, I would like to have the power to Lord over Time. Not in the traditional sense, mind. Not either of them for that matter. Rather, more a combination of the two. By this I mean the ability to see Time as it is, for what it is, and all the possibilities it can present, as well as the means to see as it was, with out affecting what is.

The Crowd Goes Wild

2009-09-18T16:21:00.001-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Fellows and Friends,

We are gathered here today, at this most auspicious hour to crown ourselves a King. Not just any king will we crown though, for we are a stiff necked people, and our king must be kind and tolerant, loving, and just. This King whom we have chosen for ourselves is all these and more. The attributes possessed by this King are astounding and overwhelming, completely inconceivable in their awesomeness.

Our King who has wondered amongst us for the last month, free to all, has now come forth to take rightful place as Ruler of all things. Join me now, brothers and sisters as we crown our King, The L-rd G-d, Master of the Universe, for now, and all eternity! And let us together say, Amen.

The Black Coats are Coming

2009-09-17T22:47:00.007-05:00

Crown Heights is, by nature, a crowded place. A place full of people, Jews and non of all types. Now though, as Tishri comes, the holiest month of the year, many flock to see what's to be seen, and enjoy the festive atmosphere that can be found nowhere, but here. The crowded streets, the multilingual conversations. These and more draw in a crowd. More so then these 770 is a magnet for a strange and unique group. They flock in from all parts of the world, all different, and all the same. Here they come with the hopes of gaining insight and spirituality from the very streets and seats used by Chassidim through the years. They fill the streets in droves seeking food and longing, if need be, carrying their own sleeping utensils. They are...Bochrim! Multiplying by the minute, fueled by pizza, they farbreng till dawn!

Tishri, when Penguins Attack!

Coming now to a street near you.

Ani Ma'amin

2009-09-16T15:27:00.003-05:00

Belief is an interesting thing. We all believe in G-d, at least we think we do. But what does it really mean? Rabbi Paltiel defined belief for me as accepting as true something that is beyond our comprehension. In this simple way, yes we do believe in G-d. We accept that G-d is. But shouldn't there be something more, a deeper belief, something stronger than simple acceptance?

English, I think does not have a good word to describe what it is that we feel/know about G-d. It is more then belief, it is faith and a heartfelt understanding that He is here, and is in charge.

Fear the Yarn!

2009-09-13T22:21:00.004-05:00

Yarn and Boro Park, apparently don't mix. Or maybe they do, just not in this way.

I went dress hunting, and as I am making my veil, it's rather vital that the one match the other, veil-side first. I've already started it, you see. Well, the Boro Parkers didn't see. That is to say, they saw, but found it the most baffling, insane concept in the history of knish.

Have you every tried to explain to a Boro Parker that yes, it will match, and yes, I am doing this, and no, you can't change my mind? All while surrounded by maybe seven of them, while wearing a big poofy white dress, and laughing? No, I didn't think you had, I have though, and it was fun.

Of course, there was the one women who knits(backward, mind you) who insisted I show her how I'm doing it, and teach her the stitch. She knit a gartel for her husband you see. Email addresses where exchanged, and more hilarity ensued.

All in all though, after handing over a piece of paper statign they can take my money, I left with a most awesome dress, and headed out for some ice cream.

A very good end, to an otherwise rather fantastic day.

Back in the Hieghts

2009-09-11T13:19:00.002-05:00

I've forgotten how busy it is here. There is so much to do, so many people to see, and not nearly enough time to do it all.

In sickness and in health

2009-09-03T00:11:00.002-05:00

Yarn,

Is there a reason, by any chance, that you are vomitting so? I know it can not be a cry for attention, for I was paying you plenty of attention before you started this most frustrating of habbits. And it can not possibly be an attempt to get me to play with you, for, you might notice, not only was I playing with you before, but I ma now ratehr reluctant to do so. You see, Yarn, when you vomit as you have been doing, it is not only very difficult to wind and therefor knit you, but it also gets you all knotty and full of fiber snags. You don't want that do you? No, I didn't think so. Why don't you stop spewing your guts so we can go on as we were, good freinds from now till the end? It just frusterates me so when you act like this. You must know, I am sorely tempted to simply pack you up and not deal with you until we get to New York. This is simply not the kind of behavior I expect from a yarn of your character. It's not fitting.

~Q

Bittul

2009-08-26T21:42:00.002-05:00

What is religion? Is it a state of being, a way of life, a form of organization perhaps? In some ways it is all of the above. At least that is how it has found it's self these days.

Originally though, at it's core, religion is a search. It's a hard question, buried in tradition and seemingly archaic lifestyles, but for all true believers it is the same one. What is the meaning of it all, why are we here. Though I hate to admit it, 42 just isn't the answer.

Religion shows us that it's not about me, not even about us for that matter. There is something more, bigger and greater than all this and that, that is what it's about. All those inconvenient, archaic traditions? Those are just there to help us tap into the fact of it all.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

2009-08-16T19:45:00.003-05:00

Overwhelming weekend, I should say. Rambler and I have decided to get married.

It's an interesting and exciting thought. In just a few months time my life will be nothing as it ever was before. I can't quite say yet what my thoughts on the mater are, though I am quite excited, and just a bit overwhelmed.

The mass texting is starting to get to me as well, which in the regard why is it that the first thing every one asks is when the wedding is? Is this something we are supposed to have decided the very day we get engaged? I think not. Give us time to plan people! Also, why are the female members of the population much more into the mass mazel toving than the male? It's interesting to ponder.

Reverse SSS

2009-08-14T16:12:00.003-05:00

There is a common phenomena amongst knitting folk called Second Sock Syndrome, or the intense dislike of making the second sock of a pair. There are many reasons for contracting this horrid disease, the underling cause oft is unknown.

In my case though, I have not Second Sock Syndrome, I am enthralled with the second sock. In fact I so much prefer it to the first I would like to be rid of it(the first sock that is.)

This first sock has given me so much greif, and though it clames to be done, it's not. Far from, in fact. First was the problem of the foot being to short, and the heal being wrong, and having to redo that twice. Now I finally did get all the leg done, with the funky lace bit going up the side, though you can't really see it in pictures. And still, it refuses to be done. There is the problem that calves are a bit thicker around than ankles, so it's a bit snug round those parts, but it will work. Except around the cuff.

I worked a rib in an effort to prevent problems to no avail, so out that had to go. Let me tell you, it is rather bothersome to take out a sew bind-off on a 3x3 rib done on US1, but did it I did. The needles were increased to US5 thinking that would work, and it did, the cuff fit much better. Until the bind off. It was still too tight, though less so than before. Out again. This time I shall increase every other stitch i think and use the standard bind-off. Maybe than it will work.

If not, well, I don't know what to do. I don't want to cut off Miss Death's circulation, but...

The second sock though, it is coming along wonderfully. The foot is just about done, needing only an inch or so more, less I think. Moreover I'm liking the pooling of the colours much better on this one. They are rather more stripy unlike the first which is a splotchy diagonal blob. Hard to describe, I'll have to add pictures later. Point is, the second sock is very awesome.

Has It Come To This?

2009-08-03T17:32:00.003-05:00

There I was sitting on the plane knitting a sock to the tunes of some good old fashioned chassidishe musser when I looked up and the guy across the aisle is reading the paper. Fairly typical. However, the headline? 'I had a meeting in the Bath.' Now, I admit that I did not read the article, so can't say for sure, but I think it is a safe guess that it had something to do with the middle aged women whose picture was prominatly dispayed having some form of meeting whilst submersed in that vital fluid of life we call water.

And I wonder, is this what our society has come to? The headline article of a section of News is regarding ones feeling free enough to meet people in the nude? Are there not enough other more homely things to talk about in the Home section of the local paper? Are there not things about which people care more? Is there a reason people care about this?

Tisha B'Av

2009-07-30T12:10:00.001-05:00

If Not Now, When?

2009-07-29T19:51:00.003-05:00

Thunder calling on this day
Horns are blowing, come this way
From tears to laughter
Why must we wait
Give us now what we are after
An end of suffering and hate
Now is good for all and one
Please we beg, Your will be done.

Some Art

2009-07-29T00:45:00.003-05:00

Ant

2009-07-26T15:22:00.003-05:00

Sitting outside earlier, there was an ant wondering around with one antenna. Poor thing couldn't quite find it's way, though it knew where it wanted to be. It ended up going around in circles, though slowly making it closer to it's destination. Eventually it did get there, but it took time, and considerable effort.

As I watched this, I could not help but think how like this ant we are, trying always to reach the goal, striving to be close to Hashem and do what is right. Yet, we have but one antenna, limited senses and we get side tracked. Eventually though, we do make it, we keep trying and we do.

Nom

2009-07-26T09:31:00.000-05:00

Mitzvot are like potato chips. You can't have just one.

A Complicated Game We Play

2009-07-26T00:45:00.002-05:00

Everything is made up of rules, and can be broken down to those rules. Most things have concrete rules and it is clear when they are broken. Other things do not. One such thing is the rules which govern social interaction. They are, by far the most complex and convoluted rules in existence. So much so that it is nearly impossible, at times, to know if one has been bent, broken, or in fact followed as it should be. More often than not major consequences, either positive or negative, will result.

The power of Shema

2009-07-24T05:00:00.000-05:00

Have you ever woken from a dream so real, so terrifying that you could not believe such a thing could exist in your psyche? It's rare. And yet, such a thing has happened to me. Such is the power of saying kriyas shema. To forget is deadly.

What's Tater, Precious?

2009-07-23T23:33:00.005-05:00

How many people ever think about what the potato? Very few, I should think. It is though, a most amazing plant.

Not only are there a plethora of potato types, but the growth process is astoundingly simple. A poato can be grow from a piece of another potato. Alternatively they, like all plats, have seeds. The amazing thing about their seeds though is the pouch in which they are formed/stored is toxic. They are in a vertual safe haven, neer to be desturbed until the time comes when they are ready to fall and rot in the ground, soon to grow to new plants. Environmentally, they don't need much, just some dirt and water, and even that is subjective to the type.

Though everyone always talks about the carb content of the tuber, they in fact contain nearly a daily dose of all essential vitamins and minerals. It's said that one could like on milk and potatoes and be rather healthy, thank you very much.

What's more, there are so many ways to eat a potato, mash em', fry 'em, stick 'em in a stew, eat them with fish and chips, to quote a few. There are endless ways to eat a potato on it's own, and when you start adding in other things, the sky really is the limit.

As for the Great Potato Famine, well, the cause? A lack of potatos. One of the main causes of potato death, aside from insufficient nutrition, is improper genetics. And if you only have one potato type that your mixing up there in Ireland, well, think hemophilia and other such type things in the Royals. It's not always so pretty.

Death aside, if there is any plant more amazingly G-d given, I can't think of it. Not now at any rate.

Insta-Cookie

2009-07-19T12:51:00.005-05:00

Sometimes, you just want a cookie. It's a problem, because those are always the times that you don't have cookies. Especially if you are like me and don't often eat such things and so don't have them hanging around. Well, eitherway, cookies are wanted.
And when cookies are wanted, oft one doesn't want to mess around with measuring things out and messing up the kitchen to make them. Which, I didn't. Also, who wants to deal with maths of reducing a recipy if all you want is a few cookies?

So, easy way. Dump a bunch of cookie stuf in a bowl, mix it up a bit,

And before you can sing C is for Cookie, eight tasty cookies ready for consumption. No chocolate chips though, the only ones at hand were the not-so-semi-sweet that are great for eating with raisons, but not so good in cookies. Also, they don't melt well.

Hungry Caterpiller

2009-07-10T02:44:00.000-05:00

String Knots

2009-07-08T23:10:00.002-05:00

String Knots: So easy, all you need is string.

This game needs a minimum of one player and can be played with a maximum of 500, based on the amount of strings you have.

Setup: Spread a hand out in such that there is a large space between each finger. Wind the string around each finger in an alternating manner, in front of the thumb, behind the index and so on. Do this until the fingers are half covered.

Play: The goal is to make as many knots as possible while at the same time being able to unwind them.

To do this you must take the bottom loop of a finger and move it to the top of another finger while simultaneously moving the middle loop from that finger to the first finger.

The faster this is done the more points are earned.

If a loop falls, a penalty must be played. Penalties can consist of anything from a dance to dishes, but must begin with the letter D.

Once all loops have been moved, remove the mass from the fingers and begin to untangle it. You have three hours.

Expounding a Bit

2009-07-08T20:05:00.004-05:00

If you sort through the nonsense, you can see an apparently unintended point in TRS's most recant post.

We spend so much time fretting about The Future, trying to insure that it will be all that it can be, and more. Yet as The Future comes closer and closer it turns out that it is exactly the same as The Present, and in fact The Past, albeit with a bit more people. So, of course this must not be The Future, so life goes on as The Present with more hopes for The Future, and yet ever worsening music.

The thing is though, we have been doing this nearly forever. The real question about The Future is not so much what will it be like, rather, will we ever get there, and will we recognize it when we do.

Ohm

2009-07-07T13:14:00.003-05:00

There is a profound beauty in walking amongst nature, rivers, prairies and such like. They have about them an air of timelessness. Every rock, each grain of sand has been in that place, or one close to it since the world was created. There is a feeling of Oneness. Such feelings do not exist in 'man made' parks. They were not there for all time. True, they have a peace about them, but it is a different peace. Walking along a river, it is beyond peaceful, it is G-dly.

Working not-so-Stiff

2009-07-05T23:11:00.008-05:00

My job is what most think as unimportant. More than that, many would find it boring and menial. I though, adore it. I could not wait to return to it after seven months leave. It is exciting, fast paced and central to the continual function of our society.

What is this job that seems so contrary? What is it that I do? I am a cashier at a grocer. It is a job of which I am extremely proud.

Running Thoughts

2009-07-01T18:15:00.002-05:00

There are times that I sit, feeling thoughts half formulated running about my head. They are peaceful things, and I wonder if I will ever truly know what they are.

Gimmel Tammuz

2009-06-26T12:02:00.001-05:00

It is hard for me, this day most of all. I never met the Rebbe. My father did, my brother did, though I doubt he remembers, he was just a few months old. But I never did. Finding a connection to the Rebbe is very hard for me, for this reason. True, one does not need to know the Rebbe to be connected to him, but, it helps.

I was too little to really understand what a Rebbe is, what he does, when he was physically here for us, and then I was too much a rebel to care. Now, I'm at a loss. Intellectually, I know there is still a connection, but it so very hard to feel it.

Maybe that's the point.

Truer Words

2009-06-22T02:00:00.001-05:00

An interesting quote came to my attention today. 'In physics the truth is rarely perfectly clear... Hence, what is not surrounded by uncertainty cannot be the truth.' said Richard Feynman. And I dare say, he was on to something much more profound than he may have realized.

G-d is above all else True and beyond knowing. We strive to understand and connect to Him daily, yet we know that no matter how hard we try, we can never really know His greatness, His wonder. He is the epitome of Uncertainty, in our eyes at least, and in every way, the ultimate Truth.

Full Brain

2009-06-21T02:00:00.001-05:00

I have so many thoughts in my head that demand to be written. Yet, every night when I go to write them I find myself too tired and push it off to another day. The problem is, another day never comes and the thoughts remain in my brain, unwritten.

Sometimes I have time during the day which I use for other things, I must train myself to dredge up the thoughts at these times and write them. Else, ti will never happen.

Politicaly Inncorrect

2009-06-10T14:00:00.001-05:00

I often hear people making blanket statements regarding the nature of groups of people. I can not understand it, in fact it bothers me.

To say that terrorists are evil, animistic, disgusting, and whatever other negative adjectives is fine. It is true. To murder and destroy life simply because it exists with a different out look is inexcusable. It does not matter the upbringing of the person. It is wrong and horrid. The same holds for all human sufferings.

That is not to say though, that all members of a groups of people are terrorist. In fact, is is likley that the majority are not, but have radically different views from them. Terrorists by nature are extremist. Extremist are loud and do whatever it takes to insure that what they want done is accomplished. That includes suppressing all other opinions.

Our purpose in this world is to bring Mashiach. We do this by uplifting the world and making it a better place.Mashiach is peace. So we must have peace to have Mashiach. Labeling large groups creates fear and anger which leads to more violence. To say people are evil is counter productive to this end, unless they are. Most are not.

That is not to say that complete courtesy should be granted to murders, rapists and the like, Quite the opposite in fact, next to no courtesy should be given them. However, that another person shares a trait be it race, religion, skin colour, country of origin, or anything else does not mean they too will act in the same manner. Such thinking is falicous logic.

Elephant Tree

2009-05-29T15:05:00.003-05:00

So many names on this Elephant Tree
Old nearly ancient, majestic and tall
A mark carved for love, lasting and strong
These are scars to bare proudly,
The deep gutted things
For in part though it's painful
The essence is gold

Comfy Toes!

2009-05-26T01:22:00.000-05:00

As has been mentioned, I have been knitting socks for Miss Death. Well, the toes of the first sock are complete and are very comfy. I don't say this lightly either. I am very particular about things that go on my feet, or anywhere for that matter. These socks though are very soft and ever so comfy. It's due I think to all the alpacas the put in them. 25 in each. *nod* Very soft.

The Oncoming Storm

2009-05-24T22:43:00.000-05:00

The wind that begins rustling through the leaves like a huge instantaneous puff of air, it is there for but a moment before the complete silence returns., The trees shuffle slightly, so serene. Again that shuffling sound is heard, though this time, with the slight pitter pat. A drizzle has started, but like the wind it is short lived, barely reaching the ground. In the distance can be heard the drums of someones party; they just add to the affect. Again, the wind and drizzle move the leaves. The patrons of the path wary of the eminent wetness begin to head back to their relative abodes when distantly a roll of thunder can be heard. It is slight and nonthreatening, but nonetheless the birds begin to discuss the options and merits each posses. More tree rustles and thunder continues after each the trees move. Soon, Now here's the big. The birds begin to wonder as to their relative safety as the thunder is getting louder and closer. The trees continue to shimmy now dropping bits of excess leaf. As to the rest of us, we sit, and await the rain.

The Shabbos Effect

2009-05-23T23:53:00.001-05:00

Kingston Avenue. Main street of the Jewish quarter, you could not find a busier street if you tried. Not in this part of New York. Week long the sidewalks are crowded with people; bochrim rushing to yishiva, men to kollel, women with carriages out for a bit of sun, doing the shopping, and everyone shcmoozimg. The street is packed with cars, the horns blaring, no-one has patiences, everyone is in a rush.

Come sundown Friday, the place is changed. The shops are closed, there is peace. People walk slow and calm, no rushing, no pushing. It's Shabbos. The street is empty but for a few lone cars passing through. The transformation is astounding.

Socks and Crime

2009-05-18T20:05:00.001-05:00

I am not generally a people person. As such, last week was rather stressful and overbearing for me, having had more than normal interaction everyday due to birthdays, holidays and engagements. That is not to say I did not enjoy the week, because I did. It is just that it was a bit much. So, when Shabbos came around, after some more, quite fantastic interacting, I stayed in and read a book. It was good times, and provided for a much needed escape from human kind.

What this has to do with the subject in the title of this entry I am sure you are wondering. Well, frankly it doesn't. That is all about Sunday, when both of the above were done. And let me tell you, it was GLORIOUS!

As previously mentioned there were birthdays last week. One of those being my roommate who got married(forthwith and forevermore to be called MRWGM, or CRS as the mood strikes me.) As such, a great scheme was schemed where in I and some others broke into her apartment and cooked her dinner. Though, we didn't actually break in as her husband gave me the key, but still, the concept is the same. It was a huge success and she was shocked speechless and extremely happy.

However, before all of that I went over to Knitmammy's where the depths of yarn were talked and socks were taught. I explored her newly acquired stash from the Maryland Sheep and Wool festival, which is utterly astounding and amazing. Tis a sad thing I did not go, as the more I hear about it the more I find I would have enjoyed it. Alas, I felt I had not the money, and I am probably right. Had I gone, I would have spent much more than I reasonably should. However, Knitmammy is much too kind to me and gave me a most lovely gift. I know have a beautiful skien of variegated polyester fuzz, for which i have many ideas.

As well, I now know how to make socks from the toe up, and so have begun a pair of Wicked Evil Socks for a Stepmotherless Witch. Miss Death the sock addict loved the colours, and well, I just couldn't resist.

Though, upon seeing me work on the sock I have been reasked for a giraffe. So I suppose I should get to that. I might just use the Doctor Who yarn, I'll have to check the gauge though.

I did end up oversleeping this morning, waking from a dream in which I was swimming in fibers and knitting up socks. It made for a very restful sleep, but sadly not enough time to steep a pot of tea before school.

The Cotton Gin Was So Cool, Too.

2009-05-03T23:01:00.000-05:00

I think I am not a huge fan of cotton. Really, I think that is way it is taking me so bloody long to knit this. Stupid cotton. I mean, it's nice and all, but really, does it have to be so unsmooth and noncuddly?

Musical Musings

2009-05-03T17:49:00.001-05:00

Last night I watched Virtuoso, an episode of Voyager about a technologically advanced race who had never encountered music. The Doctor is more then happy to introduce them to the concept. The Qomar are fascinated by the mathematics of music and song and spend much time inciting the Doctor to sing for them.

Today I was in the subway and there happened to be a man playing an electric violin. It was absolutely beautiful.

Music is, as the Qomar say, essentially mathematics. But there is something so much more to it. Music is deep and enticing. It speaks to the soul, it comes from the soul. Math, while beautiful and wondrous is cold and fixed(abstractions and number arbitration not withstanding.) The two, math and soul, fixed and flowing, combine and, when done properly, create the most beautiful sounds in existence. Music without soul is not music at all, it is simply numbers.

Tree Thoughts

2009-05-03T13:15:00.001-05:00

It is not just the beauty of the trees that has me excited. I adore nature, crave it even. It makes me happy.
But there is something deeper about it that I find almost hard to explain. Walking amongst trees, or in a meadow...it's peaceful and relaxing. More than that, it's wondrous. This is the world G-d created, unadulterated by man, simple and pure. Within the trees, there is no evil.

Knitting Keeps Me Sane

2009-05-01T08:50:00.001-05:00

For as long as I can remember I have been fidgety. In order to concentrate in school, not that it was a conscious thing, I would play with Silly Putty. When i did not have it, I had other things, ticky-tak, gum, pencils, all manner of things that I would roll through my fingers and knead. That's always what I did, moved my fingers back and forth between my thumb.
It wasn't only in school for concentration, actually that was a minor bit. When nervous or uncomfortable, I would knead my fingers and wring my hands in full force. Neighbor could always tell where I sat at the table, even if she didn't see me, because of the holes in the plastic from when I stuck my fingers through.
Eventually the Silly Putty disappeared, much to my annoyance, and it was hard to replace. Though at this point I had started wearing my hair up. As such, I had hair ties on my wrist often so I could put it up when the need arose. The binders also proved extremely useful for my nerves, and soon I started wearing two, one for my hair, and one for my fingers. I was never with out at least one, and often people would come to me wanting to borrow it. Still happens, in fact.
Then, I learned to knit. Knitting has been the best thing for me, It literally keeps me sane. I have been calmer, both in regards to hyper activity and nerves since I started. It is also a super productive means of fidget. As well, thanks to knitting, I discovered all this about my nervousness and fidgeting.
Now, I rarely go anywhere with out my knitting. I do still wear a hair binder though, and use it, if rarely for my hair.

Spring

2009-04-28T20:22:00.000-05:00

Well, it's spring here in New York, and those of us from Minnesota all know what that means. Yes, that's right, construction! They do things a bit differently here though. For one, the day before they rip up a street a sign is put up informing the citizens that there will be no parking on said street the next day, which is a rather clever idea, don't you think? The only problem witht that is that people don't have places to put there cars, so they still park them on the street when they come home at night. Which means there is just one thing to be done. At six o'clock in the morning the police or construction crew, I'm really not sure which, comes up the street with a bull horn informing everyone that today is the day we have all be waiting for, the wondrous construction, and would you please move your car. They do this for a bit, and leave. Then come back and do it again. Today, I am sure I heard one of them say around 0730 'Alright guys, it's time to get up! Move it!'.

A Dream

2009-04-20T19:50:00.002-05:00

He had a dream. A dream that one day boys and girls, men and women, children of all ages will sit together, learning and singing. A dream that one day these people will march together to the holy city of Jerusalem and prey, praising G-d, our G-d the great and merciful Creator of all things. There on the mountain sits a majestic palace in which lives the greatest King of all, ruling in peace a united nation. He dreamed of a land where there is no war, no hate, no hunger; a land in which people live together in peace and prosperity. But he could not achieve this alone. He needs each person, each one of us to do our part. He knew the steps, the great and small, knew that there was a job for each.

The dream is Moshiach, the dreamer is the Rebbe, and the job is mine.

Licht

2009-04-08T20:42:00.000-05:00

little candle
silent flame
sits alone in darking night
steady forward, growing strong
one to the next
silent candle
little flame

Why SciFi?

2009-04-03T21:42:00.001-05:00

Why scifi is something that I have been asked, and have pondered many times. Most often when people are asked this question they respond with something along the lines of a hope for a better tomorrow, or a need to believe in something more. For me, this is not quite the case.

While Science Fiction, in most cases, does give me a degree of hope for a better tomorrow, I find that with its aliens and apocalypses offer an unique view into the human psyche. Many genres tell us something about ourselves, though none of them with quite the depth as Scifi does. Horror's goal is to scare us, comedy to amuse. Drama is an attempt to portray a near lifelike situation. Scifi looks at why.

Science Fiction looks at who we are, where we came from, where we are going, and wonders why, how, what now? Every answer that the various authors and producers come up with tell us about us. The whole point of Science Fiction is to think, to explore the Human, not just entertain it. That is why I read and watch Scifi.

cry

2009-03-29T02:18:00.000-05:00

I dropped a stitch. Which, normally, whatever. But no. This had to be one of those weird complicated increase/decrease stitches of doom, four rows below my working row. So I have absolutely no way to pick the darned things up and put them back where they belong. And of course, I hadn't moved my lifeline after I finished the last repeat so I have to take all of that out too.

And I was so excited to be working with the purple.

Did You Look at the Sky Today?

2009-03-19T18:06:00.001-05:00

Based on Rabbi Pape

Clouds over Highway 100

Sh'ma. It's just a small word, nothing special. We say it everyday 'when we wake up and when we lay down' with out fail, but do any of us truly know what it is, what these three little letters really mean?

Typically translated as 'hear', the more archaic 'hark' rings closer to the truth. Soo Maaraya Aynaichem. Three letters, three words. Lift up your eyes. The word itself holds so much meaning just on it's own, but when put in context, we see much more.

Sh'ma Yisroel, Hashem Elokainu, Hashem Echad. Lift up your eyes, Isreal, Hashem is G-d, Hashem is one.

On the surface the words tell us the same as they do if translated the traditional way. But if we looking deeper there is a stronger message. Lift up your eyes, Israel. See the wonders of the world, the sun, the moon the clouds. Be awed by the beauty that is contained with in them, but know Hashem is G-d. Hashem is One, it is His greatness you are seeing. He alone has the power to create such things, and with out Him and His infinite kindness none of it(including us) would exist.

Hypothetically...

2009-03-17T21:32:00.000-05:00

May one go back in time and kill Hitler before the war?

If we were to throw out all SpaceTime Continuum issues, the question is doubly potent.

What is This Thing?

2009-03-13T01:33:00.000-05:00

There is this amazing thing they have here in New York. There is a period of a few months where, for some reason, the weather takes a turn for the unexpected and pops out the most peculiar temperatures. These temperatures range anywhere from Winter to Construction When It's Really Warm, to Construction of Wow That's Hot. I'm told this is called 'Spring'. It's rather fascinating.

Don't cross in the middle, in the middle in the middle of the street.

2009-03-12T17:02:00.000-05:00

Well, there I was, standing on the corner waiting for the light to change when someone walking past told me I could cross.
A gesture at the red LED hand on the monster, if you could call it that.
"Oh, they don't enforce that here in New York City, go ahead."
Stares I, aghast at the man. "But, you're a cop!"
A slight shrug.
"That's just wrong. On so many levels. Oh that is just wrong."
He shrugged again and continued on his way as I stood and waited for the light. When the light changed, I crossed and continued on my way, looking every so often across the street at Officer Paccolli with a shocked expression. About half way down the block, I just couldn't help it.
"Let me ask you something." I called over to him.
He walked over. "Yeah?"
"If they didn't enforce murder in New York City, could I go around killing people?"

The conversation continued, and in the end he wondered if I was a lawyer of some sort.

The Journey is a Destination

2009-03-11T17:59:00.001-05:00

It is interesting to watch people on the subway. Rushing to be sure not to miss the train and then standing impatiently on the side of the track as they wait for it to finally come. And then, when it does there is the mad pushing to get on and grab a seat. Fast as can be the eyes glaze over and the world is tuned out either through headphones, sleep or just drifting off. I'll admit I do it myself sometimes, listing to my headphones, sometimes you just crave music.

I can't help but wonder what these people are thinking as the sit there on the train, rushing from Point A to Point B. It's not only on the trains though, it's everywhere. When people walk, drive and fly. All of it, it seems so much of the time that there is a sense of Null Time when one travels from A to B.

But that is not the case. There is Time. More then Time there is Beauty, People, Things. Riding on the bus does not have to be time used to study, but one can look out the window, or at the people and see the wonder of the world, and He that created it. Just going somewhere is a destination of it's own.

A Knittyish Post

2009-02-26T17:44:00.000-06:00

Last night during Intermission of the production, whilst scrambling around to change I discovered, much to my annoyance, one of my purple paper clips had fallen off my needle. Well, everyone of course thought I was crazy as I went off searching for a purple paper clip. They did not understand, all but one women who was part of an event in the next room. She understood my plight of having to use a blue paper clip.

You see, rather then buy spendy stitch markers, I opt for the equally pretty multicoloured paper clips, which work just as well if not better, Not only are they less expensive, but they are disposable as well. Well, I hear you say, if they are so disposable, what was with the fretting? I'll tell you. I was at production, and only on stage for a short period of time, which means, KNITTING! That and I was to knit in one of the scenes, anyway. Now, I could just go and grab a new purple paper clip from my iPod Case-O-Knitting, however, there were none. I used the blue one, but as soon as I got home switched it for a purple one. All is right with the world again.

Back to the women who didn't think I was crazy. A fellow knitter! Usernames were exchanged, and I am now in touch with her, and hopefully through here some other locals. Wooo.

And now! What you have all been waiting for! ...Yeah, not feeling *that* dramatic, it's really not that exciting. Let me tell you about the Candle Flame Shawl.

I started over again. Now, before y'all gasp and flail, breath. It's no big, really. I know you probably don't believe me, due to my last post on the subject, but it's the truth. I think the reason I was so frustrated before was not the fact of my work being for naught, because really, I don't feel that it was, rather it was that I was attempting to learn all the new stitches, the maths of them and could not get it to work. However, now that I understand it and it works, It doesn't bother me that I need to go back. I was only one and a half repeats in anyway. As well, I wasn't so happy with the whole border thing, it looked odd to me, so I edited it a bit. Much happier now.

We Raise Up Our Voices, the Whole World Rejoices

2009-02-22T14:35:00.001-06:00

There is an amazing thing about Shabbos that really can not be defined. They day has a peaceful presents to it which seems to penetrate to the core of being. It is more than just a day of rest, of not doing anything. There is a healing and restorative power to this great day.

Often the week leaves a person stressed and altogether not themselves, and up until the moment of licht the feelings remain, but once it is licht, Peace and another unnamed thing wash over leaving one clear and whole again. By the time the day is over, there is nothing left of that harshness that was. Sometimes, it only lasts for the day and once havdala is said the feelings are back, but more often the calmness and clarity last.

It does not always work this way, but when it does, it is truly amazing, the best gift of all.

Logically Illogical

2009-01-30T01:47:00.001-06:00

G-d wants us to know Him. But one can not know anyone if they are overcome by their greatness, so He hid Himself from us, in order that we may find Him and get to know Him and His greatness.

All My Needles

2009-01-29T18:35:00.000-06:00

The hour, near 1800, January 29 2009. Q sits preparing to knit. Step one, pull off the cute little point protector socks. When lo, a resounding snap is heard to echo through the room!(It actually did echo.) Looking down, the young knitter discovers, to her horror the tip of her needle has snapped right in half. A cry of shock an alarm emanate from her mouth, WOE! for she was truly doing so very well with this project of lace. Alas, to the great series of tubes she must venture and purchase for herself a new set in the hopes that it will arrive soon. For then, and only then, will she be able to take up, once again, this shawl of lace.

The good news is I bought all that other yarn, so I will not be with out knitting while I wait. The only question is, what shall I make?

Reunion, a Day in the Life

2009-01-23T00:41:00.001-06:00

Winter break, the best time of the year. Not because there is no school, but because it's time for the Family Reunion. Upon arrival at Bubby's there were cookies to be found in big Tupperware containers atop the china cabinet. If it's a cookie, you could find it, peanut butter, Oatmeal Raisin, Brownies, and of course the famous chocolate chip. Don't worry that they will run out, there are more in the garage(if the grandkids sleeping in there didn't eat them all for a midnight snack). And hey, Bubs will always pick a couple of grandkids and make more.
After cookies, it's bed time. But who's sleeping where with whom? After many minutes of arguing it always ends up the same, the little ones in the play room, #9 and #10 in the office, #1 and #4 in the Den, the boys in the garage. If we're all really quite, we can hear the adults playing Trivial Pursuit in the dining room.

When morning finally rolls around(not before 0800) Grampy can be found eating half a grapefruit and a bowl of shredded wheat with equal. There's a choice of sugar cereals for anyones taste on the second self of the pantry, and cookies for desert. If you want to read the paper, just make sure you put it back EXACTLY the way you found it, cause that's Bubby's paper.

What's to be done in the warm winter sunshine at Bubby's? Bike riding and tree climbing of course! Don't worry if you don't know how, #1 would be happy to teach you on the yellow banana seat. But you can't cross any streets. Fancy a climb in the tree? There's a chair on the porch you can use to climb up, but don't go too high, and take turns on the swing or you'll go inside. Or maybe football suits you better. The boys and Uncles have a game going in the street. Just make sure you close the door so as not to let the dog out.

Lunch is made of left overs, and of course cookies for dessert, but put your can of soda in a cup. After lunch maybe we'll colour with Grampy, or do a puzzle. There's all kinds of things to do to avoid the homework assigned of break. But don't worry about that, Uncle Lenny will write a note to your teachers.

After lunch we'll just hang out, maybe do art with Grampy, or play fetch with the dog, but everything stops at 3 o'clock for Beaver and Bonanza. Everything that is except making cookies or dinner.

After a delicious dinner of Lasagna(the trick is to spatula around the sides), or maybe Bert made chicken and biscuits, it's time for more cookies, or some other good desert. But only if your hands and plate are clean. And then let's all head into the den for sweatshirts, but first, sound-off!

Four rows, droped stitch

2009-01-22T09:08:00.000-06:00

The most frustrating thing about knitting around people and messing up is how freaked and flailed they get when you take it out.

Lace, Take Four

2009-01-21T15:34:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I finished the garter rows and started the cool lacy pattern bit. But..It was off, so I figured that I had cast on too many. Simple enough to take it out and do it again, which is what I did. Then today as i got to the lace bit I realized that no, the problem was that I had done the YO,K2Tog wrong and was actually YO, K1 K2Tog which of course would through it all off.

Well, onward I go doing it correctly this time, except now I have too few stitches. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I'm purling to many on the repeat or something. Either way, I set off take out the row in an attempt to do it again, when what should happen but a stitch drop. All the way to the bottom. So here I go, starting over, again.

I'm Broke

2009-01-19T19:03:00.001-06:00

I went to the yarn store on Thursday. I was only going to get yarn for this next project, really. Its not my fault that, well. There is this funny thing about shopping, and yarn in particular. You find something that is just so very awesome, and you put it in your basket, and then you find another as you make your way to the counter. Well, by the time you actually make it to the counter you end up spending 140$. oops. But they are exciting yarns, see?

Wait...what was that in the corner...is that...Doctor Who Yarn?!!?!

It was just..there. With all the colours combined. I had to have it. Ideas of what I should make?

Anyway, I have started my new project, a fancy shawl. I had a couple of false starts with it, having all 97 stitches cast-on, and a row or two knit and then dropping the first cast-on stich. grrr. Vas-eva'

This is much different then the other things I did, not only because I'm using a flancy pattern, but it's lace. And you know what? It's slippery and does not want to stay wrapped on my finger nicely, cause it is so thin. But I think I am getting it.

Here's a question though. It says to garter stitch for 18 rows. Do I count the cast-on as one of those 18?

I'm Qtap, and I'm a knitter.

2009-01-01T23:19:00.000-06:00

Based on the evidence, I do believe I am addicted to knitting. See for yourselves and decide.

I learned to cast and knit a day or two before leaving for New York and have since learned to purl, and yarn over. I have made a scarf and baby blanket, and am working on attempting a headband. What am I doing right now instead of sleeping? Looking at a vid on how to do an SSK. I spent 70$ on needles, and am planing on taking a 25$ class on pattern reading. Not only that but I went out and purchased a new bag/purse what have you in order that I could carry my knitting with me, as my old one was not big enough to do so. Looking at my bookmarks bar, one would find a brand new folder labeled knitting full of blogs, and folders each for patters and yarn shops/sites, my email and computer also contain such folders.

That and I seem to knit left handed which is causing some difficulty in learning new stitches from a friend/classmate. I keep getting confused!!

ETA: This problem has been fixed by learning the stitch from her right handed, reviewing on knittinghelp.com and then taking it all out and doing it correctly via my left hand.

The Beginning of the End

2008-11-23T00:03:00.000-06:00

Darkness falls like blinding light
The end is near, it's now in sight
The time has come, the time is now
Greet the king, hes come to call

As we wait in line
Await the thrown
Things will pass
Which we've always known

As days grown long, and shorter still
Tumult passes, peace instilled
From lions mane we unite
Together now, unhindered might

The end is here
The time is now
All eyes open
Wonder
Wow

The Chandelier

2008-11-23T00:02:00.000-06:00

Bright light shining
Throughout the room
Not one spark twinkles,
Thousands do
Each way you look there is something new.

In each twist is a light
Just waiting to be seen
Glistening, gleaming, shining on
From each little light, a new one brings
Sparkling forever

G-d vs. Hashem

2008-10-05T20:00:00.002-05:00

I have found myself struggling with this concept for sometime now. While on the one hand, Hashem, literally The Name, is G-d, on the other, He is not. For to name G-d is to define G-d and to define G-d is to limit G-d, and G-d by definition is limitless.

Day of Sadness, Day of Tears

2008-08-10T17:03:00.001-05:00

Why do we suffer?
Why do we cry?
Senseless hatred
Amongst all our lives

The golden walls burning
Crying and pain
Foxes, sly foxes
Nothing more profane

We want to return
We cry and we plead
Enough now already
We regret the deed

Years pass us by
But still we do cry
Each time though, it's different
More people have died

Bring us back to you O Lord
And we shall return
Restore us, as in days of old

G-d's Gorgeous World

2008-08-03T09:13:00.000-05:00

I forgot to sleep last night, so as soon as it was light enough(read 05something) I headed out for a sunrise bike ride.

Lovely little Rainbow here, you can't really see it so well in the picture, it was rather faded.

A bit more yellow in the picture then in actuality, but it's beautiful, no?

Here you can see the Greenway and Sunrise as I bike. Taking a picture while biking is a lot easier than one would think, oddly enough.

Some of the prairie life that lives it's happy life on the side of the path.

At this point I turned around because it started to rain, and while I don't mind the rain, tisn't so good for my bike.(It stopped some five minutes later)

On the way back it was a touch windy, and here you can see the white undersides of a tree's leaves as they blow. I was going for the contrast between the white and green, which was rather stunning, really. Alas, I had the camera set to auto, and not night as it should have been, considering how the lighting was on that side of the path. Well, at least I learned for some of my later shots.

The tracks, oh the tracks. Off in the distance you can see the water tower and Nordicware. Did you know that the NordicWare tower used to be a grain elevator? The first(and possibly only, I have no idea) concrete grain elevator, ever. ...I'm not really sure what BRT means, but I suspect it might have something to do with the bloody loud train whistle that they blow at midnight or two in the morning, or it might be letting them know that they are entering into a populated area and crossing a street, so they aught slow down a bit. The two might actually be related, come to think of it.

At this point I could have turned off and gone home, but I felt like going a bit more, and so continued on till the coffee factory.

I'm rather fond of this one, I just love how the four leaves stand out amongst all the rest. This is also, sadly, the last picture, for here is where I turned around again, and then my batteries died, much to my chagrin as there where some lovely opportunities, that shall forever be lost to time.

Lables and Shabbos

2008-05-15T16:27:00.001-05:00

A non-Jewish friend of mine, in Israel, was invited to Shabbos at the home of a new friend. This all came about when my friend stated a desire for Pizza and a movie. Her new friends have incorporated Pizza and Movie night into shabbos. From how I understand what she said, they watch a movie, light, and eat pizza for dinner. Now, while there is theoretically nothing wrong with this, and I know everyone does things differently...it just seems wrong to me. ..Of course, now I feel guilty and slightly sad for being semi-judgmental.

My friend then told me that the moshav is Modern Orthodox, and what is that? (Her only experience with Judaism is through Chabad, or there abouts.) ...How do you explain? Can you? On the other hand, what in one place is Modern Orthodox is Conservative in another, in one is Conservative, is Reform in another. ..Do we, as Jews, put to much emphasis on the labels and types of Jews we each are?

ETA It is not the Pizza, that I feel is 'wrong', I think. Non-traditional means are very cool. I myself had a non-traditional meal a few months back of veggie soup and tuna smaiches. I think it is the combination of a movie right before licht followed by pizza. It seems to me the wrong way to greet Shabbos. That is where I come from, saying I have been judgmental. Who I am to judge how you great and observe?

Songs of Faith

2008-03-23T17:24:00.001-05:00

There is a song that my we sing Shabbos night at my father's house, Kol B'yar, that I have always loved. It is one of my favorite niggunim. It is song in three languages, at least in our home. Each verse alternating, followed with a wordless refrain. Hebrew, Yiddish and English.

I hear in the forest a cry and a shout, a father seeks his children who have wandered about.
Children, children how far have you gotten, that about me, you have forgotten.
Children children please come home, it's hard for me, to be here alone
Father father, we'd like to return once more, but the guard is blocking the door.

When I was young I think that I liked it for the simple fact that it has a very nice catchy tune and rhymes in all three languages. But as I have gotten older and I think about it more, this song really talks to me. Both on a spiritual and personal level.

A rich king wants his children to be safe and happy, and the forest that surrounds the castle, though beautiful is a very dangerous place. When the children wander away from him he becomes distraught. He cries out to them, where are you, did you forget about me? I am here to protect you! But we do not answer because we are having fun in the treas and bushes. And so he goes home after a few hours, convinced that the children will follow, that they are smart enough not to get lost. But more time passes and still the children are not home, and so he goes out and calls to them please come home I miss you. But by this time the children have finished playing they no longer care about the trees and flowers, they want the stories and soup that the father has for them. Sadly the guards at the door do not recognize them in there dirty clothes and so will not allow them into the house. The children are distraught and in tears, and when their father comes out again to call them, they cry out to him, please please, we want to come home. The guard who does not know the children of course will not let them in in their soiled clothes, they look like beggars. But the king, he hears their cry, and sees their tears, immediately he rushes forward and opens the gate to embrace them.

So to is it with Hashem and the Jewish people. He is our king and father, as such He wants us to be safe. But we do not listen, we go off to play in the world, ignoring the laws and guidance He has given to us. We get dirty, and when we finally see that what we really want is not the gashmius but the Torah so we return to yiddishkiet. We find though that they way is blocked by more and more gashmius, and it is so very hard to find our way home. But if we try, and we really ask Hashem our father, he will remove the obstacles. He will help us. We just must put forth the effort.

One Truth

2008-01-04T13:17:00.000-06:00

When things are dark
When we despair
There is a god
He's always near
This thing remember
The plan is clear
One truth forever
To always hold dear

Life's Truth

2007-11-10T01:29:00.000-06:00

Life goes on slowly moving super fast
It waits for none never slowing
On and on
Over under and through
Before to long all has gone
Alone for good
Peace wont know
For if time stops all is lost
Sadness comes for all to see
Yet meaning can not be found
No rhyme, no reason
But simply living
Tis all any man can do

Dolphins?

2007-05-11T17:33:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I find myself wondering what the point is. Not in a suicidal I don't want to exist kind of way, but in a Ok, so now what way. It's weird. I have always believed that the most important thing is knowledge, and with knowledge comes happiness and fulfillment. But sometimes, I'm just not sure. I mean really, what is the point of Life? Why are we here? If there is a god, and I am unsure what I believe on that subject, why did he create us? It can't be to serve him, because really, what would be the point of that? I find it hard to believe that a being so powerful has the need for us to serve it. Maybe it is because it was bored. That would make sense. It was bored so it created something to relive it's boredom. But in that case, we return to the previous question of now what. As far as we know, we exist, this world is real and everything that happens in it is in fact happening. But why? What are we supposed to do about it. Why do we do what we do?

Okay, so maybe we are meant to be happy. But first of all, what does that mean? What is happiness? What does it feel like, how do we achieve it, and to what end? I guess that's what it all boils down to really. What is the point. We work so hard to make money, or find someone to love, or amuse our selves, but for what? What happens when we die? Does the world just stop? Do we just cease to exist, or is there something more? Some sort of after life where everything is explained and things will make sense.

That's another thing I often wonder about. What would it be like to not exist? How would the world be different, what would it feel like? I know that in Judaism, as well in other religions and cultures, there is a belief of an after life. A heaven. A something after we die. In Judaism, that something is, well, there is no clear description of what it is. It is Gan Eden, the Garden of Eden. It is said that we will return there and walk amongst god. Ok, fine. Then what? It is also said that our souls will return to sit at G-ds thrown. In Ancient Egypt the after life, called Duat, is just like the current life, but better. Better in that the crops always grow, things are constant and unchanging, or something like that. I don't know. I mean, why? What is the point?

It's odd I think that I think of things like this. I mean, sure it's normal to wonder about whats next, I guess, but...I don't know. It's not just the after life, and the point of it all that I wonder about though. I wonder about really odd things. Things that, when I realize I wonder about them, really scare me. It's not the things them selves that scare me, but that I wonder about them. I've found myself wondering things like what it would be like to die, to cut, to murder, to smoke, do drugs, be raped, and many other such things that should never happen. It scares me that I wonder about these things. And even more that I have done so since as long as I can remember. Maybe it's that I am depressed, or manic, or insane, or whatever, but I don't know, it's not normal, right? And even if it is, it's still scary.

Then again, I also wonder about other things. Like what it would be like to be a tree, or a rock, or a bird, or cat, or a shelf, or a newspaper. I guess what the main thing I wonder about is consciousness and sentience. What is it? What does it mean to have/be it? What would I be if I did not?

Stagnent Change

2007-05-10T01:10:00.000-05:00

Disease and destruction
Desire for change
Young hearts burning
With unbridled flame
Long endless nights
Suns burning bright
Always forever
Shinning through night
Again for eternity
Flying through time

Self Unknown

2007-05-10T01:08:00.000-05:00

The façade is there, beliefs unsure
What is seen, the thing that's shown
Truth to all, myself unknown
Compare contrast
Je ne sais pas
That one smile, so early on
Open truths, slightly hidden
For fear of knowing

Life goes on

Ever Onward

2007-05-02T01:57:00.000-05:00

Twelve long years
And then four more
Time that was was wasted
Unused, never shown
The deep seeded joys
Of silly songs sung
Gone from the now
No longer real.

Never Alone

2007-04-12T15:05:00.001-05:00

In the dark I sit alone
Awash in the cheery blue glow
Friends smile and grin.

Oblivious.

Winter Visions

2007-02-06T18:57:00.001-06:00

Outside the snow is drifting lazily down like, well, like snow really. It twirls and spins around almost but not quite like a tornado, and when it finally falls, it does so at an angle. It coats the ground and the trees, everything in its path, nothing is spared its bitter cold torture. Inside it is warmer, but still a bit nippy. The sweet scent of ocean breeze drifts up to my nose from the candle on the desk. It surrounds me and brings forth images. Rushing waves and breaking tides. Children running and splashing as the sand castles fall prey to the tides’ siege. A shame that the image in my mind disappears with just a turn of my head, as I again look out the window. The snow has its own beauty, though it freezes us to the bone. It is often a symbol for death and the end, and yet, it brings with it new life. The tracks of a bunny are just barely visible from my vantage point here in my room. I image it is quite cold out there, but its fur must give it some warmth.
A car drives past, its motor breaking the near silence. The candle’s flame has burnt out and now the room smells slightly of smoke. It is a peaceful and calming scent. After a time the smell tickles my nose. It is a strange feeling, that of smoke in your nose. Not quite painful, and yet not pleasant. It is odd, that.
Outside the snow has stopped, but the sky remains grey and gloomy. It is as if a large hand has covered the sun, and only small bits filter through to warm the hearts of us poor inhabitants. It seems at times that winter will last forever, though we know in our hearts that it must at sometime come to an end. Alas, such is the way of the world, that hard times seem to last an eternity, and yet those happy and pleasurable moments last but an instant, always fleeting and far between. Why is it that the happy times seem so hard to remember in detail?
The setting sun changes the sky from a gloomy grey to a deep blue, and then black. It is so dark that even the stars do not shine through. I’m sure that were I in a position to see it, the moon too would elude me.
The sounds of Bach’s musical genius now float through my room, bringing with them more images of life. It is a sweet sound, and in conjunction with the dissipating scent of the ocean, very calming. Bach is like a waltz, slow and calming. I can just picture Victorian era women in their wonderfully fashionable gowns gently gliding across the ballroom floor under a large glowing chandelier at some fancy party, to which only the elite are invited.

Happy Sadness

2006-11-18T03:35:00.000-06:00

I cry tears of joy
You try so hard
To find the words of the past.
And when you do,
You are so sad.
You know the words.
You know your losing them.
I see your face
Happy and sad.
You sing and remember
You wipe the tears away
Before they even form.
It hurts you so much,
What once made you happy
Now makes you sad.

Grampy, I Miss You

2006-11-17T03:47:00.000-06:00

Sadness rips at me,
Seeing you this way.
Gampy, I know you,
I know that you are there.
Unseen and unsure
Lost in yourself.
Grampy dear Grampy
I want you back.
I can see how you struggle
With the simplest of tasks
But you've yet to give up,
You never will, I know.
Yesterday we played with Duplos.
When before we did thousand piece puzzles.
It hurts me to see you.
I love you so.
Your laughter and smiles still shine bright.
You know everything, You just don't know where.
I want to find you, Grampy.
To have you back forever.
The smile when you put two pieces together,
It made my day.
But at the same time
It crushed my heart.
I miss you so much Grampy
Stay here for me.